Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize