Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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