I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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