I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
