I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
