actually, I'm a sock model
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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