the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
