smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
