So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
