i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
