I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are my feet made of real feet?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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