Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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