He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
