Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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