Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
