I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
