I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
