So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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