im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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