he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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