I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
