just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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