I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
