You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
