so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
