the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
