had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
