In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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