She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
