so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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