he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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