no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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