ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
