corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
