Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
