If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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