You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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