You're my little dorito
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
