smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
