I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
