Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am naked and annoyed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
