So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
can u get pink eye on your cock?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
