I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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