It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
