pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
