I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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