OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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