I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
