Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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