69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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